Get What?

Person 1: "Where'd you get that?"
Person 2: "Get what?"
Person 1: "That stupid look on your face!"

Two Blokes Were Out Walking Home From Work One Afternoon

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's knickers off!" "What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

Born Beautiful

You're lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.