Bill and Bob Camping

Bill and Bob go on a hunting trip. At night in their tent, Bill tells Bob about a hunting trip he went on in Canada. "A few years ago I was in Canada hunting. My buddies and I called it a night and made camp. When I woke up there was a moose right in front of my face! I was so scared I shit my pants!" Bob replies, "Hell, I woulda shit my pants too, crazy moose." Bill looks at Bob seriously and says, "No, I really shit my pants. Apparently I shit my pants when I sleep and the smell attracted the moose. Good night Bob."

Pet Salamander

Friend: What an interesting pet. What is his name?
Owner: Tiny
Friend: What an odd name. Why do you call him Tiny?
Owner: Because he's my newt.

Yo Mama - Hippo

Q: What's the difference between yo mama and a hippo?
A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.