Kitty Replacement

A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologize to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, “I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?” “I don’t know,” replies the old lady. “How are you at catching mice?”

Sheep Oh My

A farmer finds a man 'doing it' with one of his sheep and a little boy watching. He walks up to the boy and asks, "Who's that screwing my sheep?" The boy replies, "That's my Daa-aa-aad."

Protection From The Rain

Q: What's big and grey and protects you from the rain?
A: An umbrellaphant!