Murphy's Travel Laws

Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers...

• No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
• Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
• If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
• If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
• Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
• The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
• The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
• The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard. 

Blonde Refuses to Leave First Class

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendant came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendant was persistent, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class." The flight attendant was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendant, "How did you get her to move?" The flight attendant replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."

Drone School

Q: What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda outpost?
A: I don't know, I just fly the drones.