Gay Mile High

Tom and Tim, both gay, were traveling on a plane. "Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Tom. "Are you crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it, said Tim."
"Nobody is paying attention to anything. Watch this." Tom stands up and asks loudly: "Could I please have a magazine?" Nobody looks at him. Everyone is sleeping, reading or looking out the window. "They really wouldn't notice then, would they?" said Tim.
So Tom and Tim have wild sex on the plane. Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the flight attendant sees an old man who puked all over his shirt and pants.
"Sir, you should've asked for a bag!" "I didn't dare" whispered the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a magazine and he got screwed in the ass..."

I'm The Queen

The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put the tray up, Bitch."

Crossword and Pope

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. "This is exciting," thinks the gentleman. "Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt?’" Only one word leaps to mind. "My goodness," thinks the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word." The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, "I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt.’" "Of course," says the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"