Headmasters and Bullfrogs

Q:  What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

Looking Out The Window...

Q: Why don't they let government workers look out the window in the morning?
A: So they will have something to do in the afternoon.

Fire and Theft Insurance

The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?"
I said, "Fire and theft."
Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. You should have fire OR theft."
Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed while it's burning down.