Lawyers Like Nuclear Weapons

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched during a debate, they can rarely be recalled. And when they land, they screw up everything forever.

Bad Advice

Walking past the Royal Courts of Justice one day, a man spotted a friend of his sitting on the steps outside, sobbing loudly with his head buried in his hands. "What's the matter?" he asked of his friend, "Did your lawyer give you bad advice?" "No - it's worse than that," replied the friend between sobs, " he sold it to me."

Thanks For the Balls

A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients.The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name.One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, "That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls."