Engineering Professors

Ten engineering professors board a plane. Once they're inside and the plane is a about to take off, the flight attendant comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been built by the students of those teachers. Immediately nine of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of them stays sitting, calmly reading a book.
One of the students who was on the plane to gather performance data approached the professor, thanking him for trusting them.
To which he replied, "If my students really made this plane I'm 100% confident it will never take off."

Devil's Finds

Three men are traveling on a ship, when they are accosted by the Devil. The Devil proposes that if each man drops something into the sea and he cannot find it, he will be that man's slave. If the Devil does find it, however, he will eat that man up. The first man drops a pure, clear diamond, and immediately gets eaten. The second drops an expensive watch, trying to impress the Devil, and gets eaten. The third man fills a bottle with water and pours it into the sea yelling, "You think I'm a fool? Try finding that!"

New Mercedes

There was this rich blonde girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model. Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car. Again, after half an hour she came back. The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was. She put in the first gear... sped up... put in second... third... fourth... fifth.... "And now," she said, "for the rocket," and threw it in reverse.