Crazy Nun

One day a little old nun was driving 35 miles an hour down the highway.  A cop pulls her over because she was so slow and asked her why she wasn't going faster.  She points at a sign by the side of the road that said highway 35 on it, saying she thought that was the speed limit. The cop laughs and tells her that it was highway number 35.  
Then looking in the back seat, the cop notices two nuns looking very frightened.  He asks them what was wrong and they said, "We just got off highway 130!"

Jewish Couple on a Deserted Island

A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?" "No Morris!" she responded. Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?" "Oh no, I forgot to send the check!!" Now Morris laughs. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check this month?" "Oh Morris I forgot that one too!" Now Morris is practically choking with laughter. Esther asks Morris, "So what are you smiling and laughing about? Morris responds, "They'll find us."

Cheap Room

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you'll make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.