Goodnight ISIS

I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I noticed an ISIS Muslim with a large knife sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden toward his house. Suddenly my neighbor came from out of nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it.
Astonished I got back into bed. My wife rolled over and said, "Honey, you're shaking. What happened?" "You'll never believe what I just saw!" I said. "Our next door neighbor still has our shovel that he borrowed last year!"

Extreme Uber

A Muslim Extremist orders an Uber. His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car and then asks the driver a question.
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?
Driver: no.
Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?
Driver: turns off radio
The extremist then asks another question:
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?
Driver: no.
Extremist: so why are you using it?
Driver: turns of the air conditioner
The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.
Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have Uber?
Extremist: obviously not.
Driver: then get the fuck out!

On Jeopardy

Trebek: The category is "Political Subversion". The answer is: This entity is dedicated to the destruction of religion, morality, and the American way of life.
Player: What is the KGB?
Trebek: Be more specific.
Player: What is PBS?
Trebek: Right!