Answering Machine - Weird All Yankovich

"The Check is in the Mail" by Weird Al Yankovich: Well hey how you doin'? Have a seat have a drink, Boy it's good to see you what can I say, Oh sorry got to run we'll get together again, Say what was your name anyway? Well we're working on the problem -- We'll get back to you soon, Don't try to call me I'll be in a meeting every afternoon for a year, maybe longer, keep in touch, thanks for dropping by and have a nice day. 

Answering Machine - Narcotics Hotline

Stoned, slow voice: Hey brother, you have reached the Narcotics Information Hotline. None of us can answer the phone right now, 'cause we're trying to decide if it exists. Leave a message.

Answering Machine - Richard Nixon

Richard Nixon voice: Hi... Uh, some people say I sound like Richard Nixon... I BEG your pardon! Uh... Everyone's out right now, so I'm uh... Covering up for them. Please leave your name, number and message promptly at the beep... I don't want to get blamed for any gaps on this tape. OK machine, you can beep now... Come on you, BEEP.