Shakespearian Computer Story

Through infinite myst, software reverberates In code possess'd of invisible folly. Wilt thou dare interface with thy Apple Macintosh keypad by toggling my tweaky bosom? Alack! Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover. Behold beta beauty in a keyboard's keen kindness. Now yet torment thy melancholy hardware by always vexing the amorous flame of thine model motherboard. This tyrant widget conceals scuzzy games and pleasure treasured dear: Then kiss me. Celestial evil's idolatrous template within AOL will deceive some cybersex users and email "cancel our service." Tis a rare tongue that many maiden bugs command, revealing bounteous distress, trashing bold memory: Click and crash gloriously. Weep not, beauteous Microsoft! Hereafter reboot.

Roomba

You remind me of a Roomba I used to date years ago. May I sample some of your sucking power for comparison?

Technical Difficulties

(Sound of scrap metal falling down a staircase continues through message.) Hello, we are having some technical problems right now, so we can't take your call. Please leave us a message.