Technology Jokes - Internet Jokes

New Year Nerd Resolutions

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD
6. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
5. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
4. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
3. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
2. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
1. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.

Categories: Technology Jokes (Computer Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Internet Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Latest E-mail Virus

There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internet. If you receive an e-mail message with the subject line "Free Money,"  DO NOT read the message. DELETE it immediately, UNPLUG your computer, then BURN IT to ASHES in a government - approved toxic waste disposal INCINERATOR. Once a computer is infected, it will be TOO LATE. Your computer will begin to emit a vile ODOR. Then it will secrete a foul, milky DISCHARGE. Verily, it shall SCREECH with the tortured, monitor - shattering SCREAM of 1,000 hell - scorched souls, drawing unwanted attention to your cubicle from co-workers and supervisors alike. After violently ripping itself from the wall, your computer will punch through your office window as it STREAKS into the night, HOWLING like a BANSHEE. Once free, it will spend the rest of its days TORTURING household PETS and MOCKING the POPE. Some filthy, disgusting miscreant . . . some no-good, low-down, good - for- nothing  DIRTY SNAKE, in twisted pursuit of her own sadistic dreams, is sending this virus across the Net via an e- mail entitled "Free Money. "What is so terrifying about this virus is that you do not even  have to open the e-mail for it to activate. In fact, you do not even need to RECEIVE the e- mail. You do not even need to OWN a COMPUTER. "Free Money" can infect even minor HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES. How it does this with straight ASCII code is, frankly, a matter of some debate  . . .  but BELIEVE   US, if this weren't a SERIOUS situation, we wouldn't be discussing it in ALL CAPS. So for the LOVE OF GOD, forward this e-mail to all those you claim to care about, all those you purport to love. Don't do it later!  Do it NOW! Now! Now! NOW! NOW! NOW!

Categories: Technology Jokes (Internet Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Geek Booty Call - Download

I've got something you need to download from my hard drive.

Categories: Sex Jokes (Booty Call Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Computer Jokes) , Technology Jokes (PC Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Internet Jokes)
Anonymous
Trackuser=No (Robot detected) |IsRobot=Yes |

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