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Technology Jokes - Internet Jokes
The Latest E-mail Virus
There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internet. If you receive an e-mail message with the subject line "Free Money," DO NOT read the message. DELETE it immediately, UNPLUG your computer, then BURN IT to ASHES in a government - approved toxic waste disposal INCINERATOR. Once a computer is infected, it will be TOO LATE. Your computer will begin to emit a vile ODOR. Then it will secrete a foul, milky DISCHARGE. Verily, it shall SCREECH with the tortured, monitor - shattering SCREAM of 1,000 hell - scorched souls, drawing unwanted attention to your cubicle from co-workers and supervisors alike. After violently ripping itself from the wall, your computer will punch through your office window as it STREAKS into the night, HOWLING like a BANSHEE. Once free, it will spend the rest of its days TORTURING household PETS and MOCKING the POPE. Some filthy, disgusting miscreant . . . some no-good, low-down, good - for- nothing DIRTY SNAKE, in twisted pursuit of her own sadistic dreams, is sending this virus across the Net via an e- mail entitled "Free Money. "What is so terrifying about this virus is that you do not even have to open the e-mail for it to activate. In fact, you do not even need to RECEIVE the e- mail. You do not even need to OWN a COMPUTER. "Free Money" can infect even minor HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES. How it does this with straight ASCII code is, frankly, a matter of some debate . . . but BELIEVE US, if this weren't a SERIOUS situation, we wouldn't be discussing it in ALL CAPS. So for the LOVE OF GOD, forward this e-mail to all those you claim to care about, all those you purport to love. Don't do it later! Do it NOW! Now! Now! NOW! NOW! NOW!
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Geek Booty Call - Download
I've got something you need to download from my hard drive.
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Oh the Internet is Slow
The Net is Slow
Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down low, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. When we finally connect to a site, It's time to go back to the dorm; But if I could stay here all night, I could submit their Web form. The network is slowly dying, And, I fear, we're still denying, But as long as Sprint is the way to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
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