Alternative Microsoft Windows Advertising Slogans

At one point, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?".  Here are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.

1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
2. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.
4. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
5. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
7. Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
8. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
10. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
11. My latest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
12. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
13. OS/2. Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
14. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [A]solutely [O]f Course!
15. How do you want to crash today?

Definition of Windows

|Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows :  32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

Windows 2000 Errors Messages

The following are new Error Messages are planned for Windows 2000:

1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue
2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: "You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?"
10. This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log off."
11. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.
14. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
16. Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
19. WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER.
20. User Error: Replace user.
21. Windows VirusScan1.0 - "OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)"
22. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic.