Any Windows Open

Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside!"

Is Windows a Virus?

Is Windows a Virus?  No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses (viri?) do:
1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.  So, you see, Windows is *not* a virus.

Difference Between Sex and Computers

Q: What is the difference between sex and computers?
A: With computers, the software goes into the hardware. With sex, the hardware goes into the software.