Light Bulb - Post Doctoral Fellows

Q: How many post-doctoral fellows does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it'll probably take three or four tries to get it right because he/she will probably give it to the technician to do.

Finals Prayer

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty. If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk. But if I do, don't pity me at all, just lay my bones in the study hall. Tell my prof I did my best, then pile my books upon my chest. Now I lay me down to rest and pray I'll pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I'll have to take.

Light Bulb - Graduate Students

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It all depends on the size of the grant.