Light Bulb - Post Doctoral Fellows

Q: How many post-doctoral fellows does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it'll probably take three or four tries to get it right because he/she will probably give it to the technician to do.

Light Bulb - Graduate Students

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It all depends on the size of the grant.

God Sent Me

An atheist professor was teaching a college class at Alabama and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240 pound football player in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The football player replied, "GOD WAS BUSY; HE SENT ME!"