Trebuchet Toss

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“
I said, “This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

Hillbilly Space Program

Q: What's delaying the hillbilly space program?
A: Development of a working match.

Hillbilly Beat Off

A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to beat off and when he was done he would shoot his load into a coffee can and hide it under the bench. One day his father caught him and told him, "Son, every time you do that you are killing a baby."
The next time the boy went to the barn he was about to shoot his load and reached down to grab his can but a little frog had jumped in. The boy looked in the can saw the frog and said, "Son you're ugly but daddy loves ya."