Grass Roots Support

They just found out Clinton's been stuffing turf in his underpants. They're for grass roots support.

Fairy Tales

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

The Whole World Could be Happy

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force One on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.  Bill turned to them and said, "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." 
Hillary, thinking this was a good idea, replied, "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy?" 
Al turned to them both and responded, "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper extremely happy."
Not to be out done, Tipper quipped, "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."