About Half

"How many people work in your office?" The boss asked the department head. "Oh, about half of them, sir!?"

Programming Business Lines

• Programming errors which would normally require one day to find will take five days when the programmer is in a hurry.
• Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.
• Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
• Progress may have been all right once, but it went on too long.
• Project Management is like pushing a wheelbarrow of frogs to market.
• Prostitution is the only business where you can go into the hole and still come out ahead.
• Quality assurance doesn't.
• Quit while your still behind.
• Real programmers argue with the systems analyst as a matter of principle.
• Real programmers don't announce how many times the operations department called them last night. 

Company Merger

Q: Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger?
A: The new company's gonna be called FedUp!