To Have Him Back

"Oh, Laura!" cried her neighbor, "I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. He was such a wonderful man. I'm sure he left you well provided for, didn't he?" Laura dabbed at her eyes and muttered, "Yes, he was a very caring husband and he left me almost half a million dollars in his will. I miss him so much that I'd give fifty thousand just to have him back!"

Mexican Elite

Q: What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico?
A: The Juan percent.

Hemingway Hall

A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." "Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?" "Yes, indeed. He wrote a check."