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Military Jokes
Corporal Conroy and the Pay Phone...
Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "Sure." The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"
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First Jump
After a fresh batch of paratroopers complete their first jump, some veterans take them out for a few rounds.
They're swapping stories and an old timer says: "Man, I remember the first time I jumped. Made the mistake of being the last one in line. Finally it's my turn, and I look down and freeze. The drill instructor leans in right behind me says, 'son, either you jump right now or I'm going to fuck you in the ass."
The veteran looks off wistfully and takes a pull off his beer.
A first-timer says, "Well, did you jump?"
"A little at first."
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Help from Canada
PRESS RELEASE: Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington. Statement by the Press Secretary. President Bush and Prime Minister John Chretien of Canada met on Sept. 24th with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement: CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM! WE HAVE PLEDGED: 2 BATTLE SHIPS, 600 GROUND TROOPS, 6 FIGHTER JETS. AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH: 2 CANOES, 6 MOUNTIES, AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS
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