A New Method

It's the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers." After a moment of quiet thought, Little Johnny asked: "How will that help?"

Wealthy Man Dies

Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!"

Little Johnny and the Kings

A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" "Sure," Little Johnny responds, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."