Jump Two Feet

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"

Water For Growth

Little five year old Johnny was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, "Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again." Little Johnny replied, "Maybe you should stop watering it so much."

A Lady in a Bikini

A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said, "Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."