Picky Hannibal

Q: Why didn't Hannibal Lecter eat Britney Spears?
A: He doesn't like artificial toppings.

Yo Mama - Piece of Paper

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper!

Stupid Insults Again

 A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.
A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
A 20th century man... The guy has no future.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.
A couple of slates short of a full roof.
A couplet short of a sonnet.
A cup and saucer short of a place setting.
A day late and a dollar short.
A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
A doughnut short of being a cop.
A few beads short in her rosary.
A few beans short of chili.
A few beers short of a six-pack / a six-pack short of a case.
A few birds shy of a flock.
A few blocks short of a file system.
A few bombs/melons short of a full load.
A few bricks short of a wall  / load / pile.
A few chips short of a cookie.
Stupid Insults Again:
A few clowns short of a circus. 
A few clues shy of a solution.
A few cold solder joints.
A few ears short of a bushel.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
A few cylinders short of a full re-format.
A few fish short of a string.
A few french fries / one hamburger short of a Happy Meal.