These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
- On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
- On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
- At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
- On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
- In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
- In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
- In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
- In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
- On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament - Ear piercings"
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