More Signs and Notices

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on an asphalt truck: "Let us fill your crack!"
Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."
Sign at a muffler shop: "No muff too tough for us!"
Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator."
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice".
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Sign in a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

Bumper Stickers

All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

Louvre in Dire Straits

Due to the flooding from the Seine River, The Louvre museum in Paris is scrambling to donate French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork to any museum that can keep them dry.
Museums that have agreed to take the artwork are very excited since they're getting Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.