Mother-in-Law's Funeral

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said, "Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway."   "I know", he replied, "I thought I saw her move!".

I Baked Two Kinds Of Cookies...

Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick?
Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.

Great News?

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."