Blondes Love Puzzles

A bartender was working at a bar one night, when in walked a group of blondes chanting "44 days! 44 days!" One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in a frame.
The bartender leaned towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked, "Why are you chanting 44 days?"
She set down the puzzle on the counter and said, "A lot of people think us blondes are dumb, so to show them, we bought this puzzle and put it together. It said 1-3 months but we completed it in 44 days!"

Two Drunks

I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my friend Perry , "That'll be us in ten years."
He turned to me and said, "That's a mirror, you dumb shit."

Woman With a Black Eye

A woman went to the bar with a black eye. "How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town?" he asked. "So did I!" she said.