New Proverb

"When one door closes, another door opens" - Boeing

Polish Parachute Lessons

A Polack wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Polack to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Polack understood and was ready. The time came to have the Polack jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the Polack that he would be right behind him. The Polack proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Polack. The Polack seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

Dumb Jock

He's such a dumb jock, that when he was driving to the airport, he saw a sign that read, "Airport Left," and he turned around and went home.