A New Tearful Bride

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

TSA Motto

Q: Have you heard about the new TSA motto?
A: 'We handle more junk than ebay!'

Fear of Flying

Two caterpillars are watching a cocoon that is starting to twist and shake. It bursts open to reveal a beautiful butterfly that stretches its wings and flies away. One caterpillar turns to the other and says, “You’ll never get me up in one of those things.”