Blonde Phone Number

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that she called me to get my phone number.

Blonde - Diet

A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "But, I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"

Accidents Near Home

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home?
A: She moved ten miles away.