Answering Machine - Matt & Steve

Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren't here right now, but if... Matt: Steve, what are you doing? Steve: I'm leaving a phone message since we aren't here. Matt: But you left the last one -- it's my turn. Steve: No, I'm sure it's my turn. Matt: No, you're wrong. It's definitely my turn. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Matt: Steve is out right now, so please leave your name and number. 

Answering Machine - Guns 'n Roses

(Guns 'n Roses' "Civil War":) What we've got here is... Failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach... I don't like it any more than you do. 

Answering Machine - Billing

My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I'll get back to you pending credit approval.