Answering Machine - Rip van Winkle

Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore... zzzz

Answering Machine - Beach Boys Tune

(To the tune of Sidewalk Surfing by the Beach Boys:)
Catch a quake and go seismo surfing with me... (Music fades.) Yo, Dudes and Dudettes! Grab your skateboard and head for the nearest epicenter, because *QUAKE'S UP*! As for me, I'm from New Jersey, so I'm gonna hide under the biggest doggone piece of furniture I can find. Leave your message at the tone, and I'll get back to you as soon as the shaking stops. 

Answering Machine - Radio Host

Hello, you're caller number nine! You are listening to 91.5 FM, KXQK. This is the Canadian Broadcorping Castration. I am your host, Fred, and I will be with you for the next 20 seconds. After that we'll play your requests. Leave yours with us, and we'll try to fit it in, given programming constraints. Thank you for listening to our show.