Harvard Vs. Virgins

Q: What do a virgin and Harvard University have in common?
A: They're both hard to get into.

Duke Freshman to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many Duke freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, because that's a sophomore course at Florida State and Virginia.

The Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall... "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU ASSHOLE, IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!"