Jesus Loves You

Jesus loves you... It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.

WWJD

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm damn sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."

Long Hair

A boy asks his father to drive the car and the father replies "No, not until you cut your hair!" The boy says "But father, Jesus had long hair!" To which his father replied, "Yes, but Jesus walked everywhere."