Redneck One - Liners Continue

You might be a redneck if...

• Duct tape and wire are the only two things holding your truck together.
• Your bumper sticker reads "If you're missing your cat, look in my treads. "
• You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.
• You've ever parked your date next to a YIELD sign hoping she'd take the hint.
• Your kids learned to shoot before they learned to walk.
• You place a classified asking less than $1.
• You think the freeway is the back door of the movie theater.
• Higher math means counting over 10.
• The lake has to be restocked after you take a bath.
• You have a lucky rabbit's foot in your pocket and a lucky rabbit nailed above your fireplace

512 Channels

You might be a redneck if your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.

What You do Best!

This suave-looking Redneck, (ok, just pretend there is one) walks into a bar and sees a cute little rich girl who's had too much to drink.  He says to her, "Hey, baby...whataya say we go back to your place and get it on! Lost in her drink, she replies, "Sure, why not!"  They get to her place and she lies on the bed and says, "Ok, show me what you do best!". Without delay, the Redneck rips off his jacket, grabs her T.V., VCR, and purse and runs out the door!