What Is Your Race?

I work at a survey place, and I have to ask people for their race. People get so upset when you ask them for their race. "Mam, what is your race?" "Now how da' hell is you gon' ask me dat?" "Okay, so you're African American."

Ebonics Second Language

A friend of mine has an 18 year old son named Leroy. He attends Oakland High School where they teach ebonics as a second language. Last week he was given an easy homework assignment; all he had to do was put each of the following words into a sentence.

1. Rectum: I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady rectum both.
2. Hotel: I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the hotel everybody!
3. Odyssey: I told my bro, you odyssey the jugs on this hoe.
4. Stain: My mother-in-law axed me if I was stain for dinner again.
5. Seldom: My cousin gave me two tickets to the Knicks game so I seldom.
6. Penis: I  went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said penis!
7. Catacomb: Don King was at the fight the other night, man, somebody give that catacomb.
8. Forclose: If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money forclose.
9. Undermind: There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment undermine.
10. Tripoli: I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn't fine no tripoli.
11. Disappointment: My parole officer told me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the big house.
12. Income: I just got in bed wit dee hoe then income my wife
13. Honor: At the rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, who be honor first?
14. Fortify: I axed da hoe how much, and she says "Fortify".
15. Israel: Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said "man, that looks fake!" He said "No! Israel!"
    Needless to say Leroy got an A.

Two Malls

Q: What two malls are in every city?
A: The one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.