Reason For Firing

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?" Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."

Virus Dilemma

Responding to the Wuhan virus shutdown, a Seattle business owner called in his 4 employees for a meeting. Boys, I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."
Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."
Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."
Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."
...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."

What Not To Say In The Workplace

• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
• It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I'm really quite busy.
• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
• I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.