Dirty Words

One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him, "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking" and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said "cooking".
Then, he returned to school the third day and heard the words "bitches and hoes". He went home and his father told him it meant "grandpa and grandma".
Later, on Thanksgiving night, his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says..."Hey bitches and hoes! I'll take your shit to the closet cause dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey!

Water For Growth

Little five year old Johnny was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, "Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again." Little Johnny replied, "Maybe you should stop watering it so much."

A Lady in a Bikini

A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said, "Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."