Who signed the Declaration of Independence?

A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?" He said, "Damn if I know." She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son,sat in the back of the room to observe. She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"  "Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know." The father jumped up in the back ,pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"

Toothbrush Sales

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful. Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events." "Very good, Sally," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said, "This tastes like POOP!" Then I replied, "It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

Little Johnny's Dad and the Rat

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously; "What ya doin' dad?" His father quickly replied
"I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.", to which Little Johnny replied
"What ya gonna do, fuck him?"