Upon Move In

How to be Insulting to Neighbors: On moving in, erect a fence at least six feet high, with a garish finish on their side.

Twinkie Sale

I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.

Insult Collection #12

• What's the latest dope -- besides you?
• I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture.
• You don't believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself.
• When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound.
• Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.
• If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.
• You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion now she believes in infanticide.
• I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.
• You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.
• You have a face only a mother could love -- and she hates it!
• You never strike out blindly you fail in the light.
• They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.