Stupid Insults Again

• Uses thumbtacks to post notes -- on his refrigerator.
• Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks.
• Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks.
• Vacancy on the top floor.
• Vacuuming linoleum using a deep-pile setting.
• Vertically-fornicated mind.
• Views mold as a higher life form.
• Warranty expired.
• Was born an acrobat but landed on his head.
• Was born when the planets were misaligned.
• Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open.
• Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
• Was napping in the nut pile the day God was cracking nuts.
• Wasn't abused as a child, but should have been.
• Wasn't strapped in during launch.
• Watches "Beavis and Butthead" to learn vocabulary.
• Watching programs not listed in TV Guide.
• We're all missing cards from our decks -- and different cards, too.
• Went in for repairs but wasn't tightened with a torque wrench.
• Went to the dentist to have his cranial cavity filled.
• When he was compiled they forgot to #include [smarts.h]/[iq.h]/[charm.h].
• When they handed out brains he got the short end of the stick. When they said "drain", he thought they said "brain".
• Whole lotta choppin', but no chips a flyin'.
• Wise as the world is flat.
• With one more neuron he'd have a synapse.
• Won't eat eggs because he believes the "This is your brain" ads.
• Would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook.
• Wouldn't make any sense if she ever made sense.
• Zero K memory

Yo Mama - Steal

Yo mama so poor, when I visited her trailer, two cockroaches tripped me and a rat tried to steal my wallet.

Yo Mama - Congressman

Yo mama so fat, her butt has it's own congressman.