Insult Collection 14

• I've hated your looks from the stare they gave me.
• Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
• Moonlight becomes you -- total darkness even more!
• Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.
• So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word] a long time ago.
• You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
• The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.
• I hear you were born on April 2 a day too late!
• I hope you never get a tetanus shot maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
• If you are in your right mind, I hope you go insane!
• If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?
• Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?

Stupid Insults

• All booster, no payload.
• All crown, no filling.
• All foam, no beer.
• All hammer, no nail.
• All hat and no cattle.
• All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
• All his eggs in the same basket.
• All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.
• All icing, no cake.
• All lime and salt, no tequila.
• All missile, no warhead.
• All of his bytes are odd.
• All shot, no powder.
• All the lights don't shine in her marquee.
• All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap / a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.
• All wax and no wick.
• Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.
• Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
• Always loses battles of wits because he's unarmed.
  Always needs to have jokes explained.
• Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
• An 8080 in a 68000 environment.
• An alligator.
• All mouth, no ears.
• An Apple //e on UUCP.
• An early example of the Peter Principle.
• An ego like a black hole.
• An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut sized brains.
• An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
• An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
• An inch short and a stroke early.

Yo Mama - Tree

Yo mama is so ugly she didn't get hit with just the ugly stick; she got hit with the whole tree.