Stupid Quotes

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.
Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: "Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy."
Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: "There's nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging around like this."
David Coleman, BBC 1 TV "Not being in the Rumbelows Cup for those teams won't mean a row of beans, 'cos that's only small potatoes."
Tommy Docherty, Picadilly Radio Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3: "We don't appear to have Jim Fish on the line at the moment." "Are there any more great swimmers in the pipeline?"
Cliff Morgan, BBC Radio 4 "Andre Vandapole has four silver medals in cyclocross, and none of them gold."
Phil Liggott, Channel 4 TV "Well, I shall remember that catch for many a dying day."

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Four teenagers were arrested in the parking lot of a large mall in Lakeland, Fla., just before Christmas when, attempting to steal an automobile at random, they tried to break into a police van containing three officers on a stakeout.

You Owe Your Parents

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?