Stupid Insults 2/31

A few guppies short of an aquarium.
A few inches short of a foot/yard.
A few kernels short of an ear.
A few kopeks short of a ruble.
A few links shy of a chain.
A few measures short of a staff.
A few open splices.
A few peas short of a pod/casserole.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A few pies short of a holiday.
A few planes short of an Air Force / hangar.  
A few points short of a polygon.
A few revisions behind.
A few sandwiches/apples/ants short of a picnic.
A few screws loose.
A few shrimps short of a barbie.
A few spoons short of a full set.
A few straws shy of a bale.
A few tiles missing from his space shuttle.
A few tiles short of a successful re-entry.
A few too many lights out in his Christmas tree.
A few volts below threshold.
A few yards short of the hole.
A flash of light, a cloud of dust,
What was the question? A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A hop, skip, and jump from success, but to get there he'd have to give up chewing gum.
A kangaroo loose in her top paddock.
A lap behind the field.
A little light in his loafers.

Yo Mama - Pregnancy Test

Yo mama so stupid, she went to the doctor for a home pregnancy test.

Stupid Insults

• One node short of a network.
• One of the early failures of electroshock therapy.
• One pane short of a window.
• One pearl short of a necklace.
• One prayer short of absolution.
• One press short of a CAPS LOCK key.
• One punch/swing/hit short of a fight.
• One sentence short of a paragraph.
• One shade short of a rainbow.
• One shingle shy of a roof, and the water's getting in.
• One ship short of a full fleet.
• One side short of a pentagon.
• One signature short of a book.
• One sleeve/button short of a shirt.
• One snowflake short of a ski slope.
• One song short of a musical.
• One span short of a bridge.
• One step short of the attic.
• One strawberry short of a quart.
• One strike past being called out.
• One sub short of a party platter.
• One taco/enchilada short of a combination plate.
• One teabag short of a pot.
• One tower short of a castle.
• One tree short of a hammock.
• One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)
• One weight short of a shipwreck.
• Only one oar in the water.
• Only playing with 51 cards.
• Only playing with the jokers