Three Surgeons

Once there were three surgeons engaged in conversation. They got on the topic of their occupation and each stated who they liked to operate on. The first doctor said, "I like to work on electricians." "Why?" the others replied. He answered, "When you open them up, they are all color coded so you know where everything goes." The second doctor said, "I like to work on librarians." "Why?"  the other doctors asked. He replied, "Librarians are all organized in a sophisticated pattern." The third doctor said, "Well, I like to work on lawyers."  "Lawyers?!" replied the others surprised. "Yes, Lawyers" he stated. "But why?" they asked him. "Well, they are gutless, they have no spine, and their heads and butts are inter-changeable."

Lawyers and a Lightbulb

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and one to kick the stool out from under him.

EMT Response Times

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team’s response times. “Since we installed our new satellite navigation system,” bragged one, “we’ve cut our emergency response time by ten percent.”
“Not bad,” the second paramedic commented.
“But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we we cut our average time by 20 percent.”
“That’s nothing said the third paramedic. “Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we’ve cut our emergency response time in half!”