Putin Barrel

A man joins the Russian Navy and is immediately deployed to a ship in the Black Sea. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the Russian sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a old Vodka barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. "Damn! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!" "Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday." "Why not Thursday?" "That's your day in the barrel."

Stalin Speech

Stalin, during a speech: “I am prepared to give my blood for the cause of the working class, drop by drop.”
A note is passed up to the podium: “Dear Comrade Stalin, why drag things out? Give it all now.”

Biden Diet

Q: Did you hear about the new Biden diet?
A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day.