Play Pens

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don't bother me one bit!" By the way - Mary is blonde.

Smart to Cross the River

Three Blonde men escaped from a jail. As they were running from the police, they ran into a river. The first man dropped to his knees and prayed that God would make him smart so that he could get across the river. He was immediately turned into a redhead and made a raft to get across the river. Soon, he escaped. The second man began to pray that God would make him smarter than the man before him, and was turned in to a brunette. He made a boat and rode across the river to safety. The third man asked God to make him smarter than the first two men and was turned into a woman. Smiling, she (he) got up and walked across the bridge!!

Brainwashing

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.